Thursday, September 24, 2009

Rough Draft

Jeremiah Humphrey
September 24, 2009
English 1101
Mrs. Sharon Akien
Rough Draft
Every Consumer Can Change the World
Life’s existence is in a time of crisis, earth's poles are melting, and the oceans are heating up causing their current’s to change unpredictably. This unpredictable shift in the ocean’s currents is making weather predictions more inaccurate each year. Coral reefs, the home of a significant amount of the ocean‘s life are beginning to disappear at a startling rate. Fewer polar bears are surviving to the age of maturity and breeding has decreased to the point of near extinction. Rare heat waves strike countries around the world, England as an example, temperatures reached into the nineties. These rare heat waves took the lives of innocent children and the elderly. Mountain tops from across the globe, from which man derives fresh drinking water, are beginning to melt. These and many more travesties can be avoided by you the consumer, by making a conscience effort to think green.
Mankind can help lower damages from green house warming by switching from poisonous fossil fuels that cause acid rain in large populated areas, to clean wind and/or nuclear power. Both are of which are reusable. Carbon admissions could be lowered easily if consumers bought battery-powered vehicles, installed earth-friendly solar panels to run their homes. Consumers should buy products imported from countries that abide by global warming standards, which would force countries striving for economic power to consider the effects of global warming.
Consumers should buy one hundred percent recyclable products. Buying these products will lead to less garbage. Garbage dumps over time become compressed with excessive amounts of trash. This amount of trash is leading to the release of methane gas into the atmosphere helping to fuel green house warming.
A consumer, who does not buy wisely, will only contribute to the future extension of all life on earth. Buying wisely is difficult and confusing, but if the consumer demands access to the examples above such as the ability to buy power from clean renewable energy, those resources will become just as mundane and normal as mankind’s addiction to oil.

3 comments:

  1. I'm reader one. This essay have very adequate information , for the purpose of this essay. He was not just focusing on one reader, the writing was more for an audience. He do need to change when he used England as an example and put - In England. With a little more revising, it can be better.

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  2. I found that the examples in the first paragraph were great. It worked well to grasp my attention. overall i think this essay is well developed with an audience in mind. It is actually quite convincing...almost makes me wanna go buy an electric car. lol

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  3. Your descriptions are very clear and you have the facts to support them. The reader can definately undertsand what you are describing. It needs a little revision, but i think it is a very good description.

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